My Life With Social Anxiety Disorder: Why are you so quiet?

(Guys, this is my very first English article attempt, so I beg you all not to judge my poor volabulary. And I am literally begging, because while making this article up I have been on my knees. Yeah, I can’t sit in one position for a long time. I should buy those jeans with holes on knees that everyone wears. At least I would be once trendy, yayy!)

Well, this was a pretty long intro. Let’s finally move to the topic itself.

Today is a special day for me because of making the decision that has been procrastinated by me for such long time. And I’m not talking only about creating blog – although this is important to me as well, of course. 😀 But I decided to put on paper (okay, in this hypermodern era we can’t talk about paper itself, but you know what I mean) my lifelong struggle. And the everyday struggle, both in one. As the title was supposed to tell you, I have the social anxiety disorder (I don’t wanna type myself to death on my first blogging day, so since now I’m gonna use just SAD. Ugh, how sad is this abbreviation?!).

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Social anxiety disorder? But honey, all of us are anxious sometimes!

Yeah, you little Sherlock, you’re right. But let me introduce you a few differences between normal anxiety and this wonderful disaster.

We all get sometimes nervous, mostly when about to permorm a specific topic in front of new creepy faces staring at you as if never seen such sweaty and overstressed human. This can happen on a daily basis, for example when you are a president that can’t stand the idea of millions of people listening to his every single voice, trying to find even a tiny mistake. And then remix it and put it on youtube.

However, this situations are rare or we don’t face them twenty times a day. But when struggling from SAD, you get nervous everytime when being with new faces. When even entering the class full of people you actually now and meet everyday. When urged to make a phone call in order to please your existence with pizza. When asked to perform your opinion in front of your classmates. When need to tell the shop assistant that she brought you a smaller-sized shirt. And you know, all these situations happen everyday. Unlike you live on a tiny island in the Indian ocean. Then congrats, you are safe and you are living my dream, you lucky extrovert.

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And, not to forget, therefore you’re always the silent one. The shiest creepy kid sitting in the vast corner of the room, enjoying the comfortable company of Stephen King novel. (Or your smartphone or whatever. I just needed to mention my hero. O:) ) Zou are scared to penetrate rudely into some conversation because being too much scared to get laught at or not to be liked by others. Although you keep reminding yourself that those people have no reason to insult you or behave bad to you, but your very supportive brain lives its own life. And I can tell you, the hardest thing in life is to fight against your own self.

 

Why am I writing those pretty information?

The reason is simple: I don’t wanna be the quiet girl anymore.  I would like to help those who stubbornly keep hating themselves because of not fitting to the extrovert and cheerful majority of people. By this series I just wanna tell all of you that you are not alone in it, and it is totally okay to be different.

But this is all for today, so I could have topics to write about the next time.

Thanks for reading and I hope you gonna return to this page. It won’t be only about serious topics, I promise. 😀

 

Sources of pictures: collegehumor.com, socialphobia.org, favim.com

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3 thoughts on “My Life With Social Anxiety Disorder: Why are you so quiet?

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